Wednesday, May 03, 2006
To Be A Stay At Home Mom or Not?
I was reading a article today on defining yourself as a mother today and the impression you believe your daughter will be left with. How many of you Mom's that work feel that they are leading there daughters to believe that you can't be a fulfilled women unless you have a job? How many feel that it is wrong to have the whole package(Home,husband, kids, work)? How many feel that there daughter's will define themselves and only use some examples from their Mother's life to start the road?
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6 comments:
My mother has provided me with both: examples of what TO do and examples of what NOT TO do. I prefer to live day to day with the knowledge that my childhood does not wholly determine my adulthood. When adults who hit their kids say, "that's how I was raised, I don't know any better", I think it's a bunch of bullshit.
As for the whole "working mother" discussion, that can be a big can of worms to open.
And (I'm on a soapbox now), who determines what is right and wrong anyway. I mean, it obvious that allowing your kids to play on train tracks when a train is coming is wrong, but why do some people feel they have the right to tell me it is wrong for me to work (or not), or it is wrong for me to require my children to make their beds (or not). I have always been under the impression, that as their parent I get to determine what is right or wrong for my children.
My parenting approach has always been that I am raising adults, not children. My role is to love them unconditionally, provide them with a secure environment, support them in becomming who they want to and prepare them to one day become independent, responsible adults.
And to have fun...I'm all about the fun.
Just curious because it raised up the same hell & spitfire in me sister! who says we have to decided! I think you have done a fine balance with yours. I am happy that I can do it, but I will tell you there's days where I say wow it sure would be nice to have the daycare experiencing this tantrum instead of me! I will bring the article with me next meeting. My mom worked and her and my father mostly worked seperate shifts so that they could have one with me all the time unless I was in school, when they couldn't do it then usually a grandparent,aunt or uncle did until I was 12 then my brownie leader with the 7 kids of her own watched me + 2 others. and actually didn't do a bad job!
I think either is fine. I just know wich one I prefer for me.
I think there are always days you long for the opposite of what you have. Last night on the way out to the car, I told my Mom that I would have liked to spend the afternoon in Jenny's backyard with the kiddo's playing in the sandbox and said "There are day's I wish I chose to be a stay at home Mom."
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